Psychological androgyny
In a world obsessed with binaries — masculine vs. feminine, strong vs. soft, assertive vs. nurturing — the idea of psychological androgyny offers a liberating middle path. Coined by psychologist Sandra Bem in the 1970s, psychological androgyny refers to the ability to embody both traditionally “masculine” and “feminine” traits. Think: someone who is confident and tender, competitive and cooperative, assertive and emotionally attuned.
Sounds like an ideal combo? That’s because it is.
Why Psychological Androgyny Matters
Most people are socialized into a narrow range of acceptable traits based on gender. Men are told to be stoic and strong. Women are praised for being kind and agreeable. But what if some of the traits you need to thrive are sitting on the other side of the gender spectrum?
Psychological androgyny breaks those limitations. It allows you to choose from the full menu of human traits, not just the half that matches your gender identity.
The Research-Backed Benefits
Studies have shown that androgynous individuals tend to be more:
Emotionally adaptable: They can meet the demands of different situations with greater flexibility. Assertive when needed, receptive when wise.
Mentally healthy: They're less likely to experience rigid internal conflicts about what they should be doing or feeling.
Relationally intelligent: Their balance allows them to navigate personal and professional relationships with more nuance, empathy, and authority.
Resilient leaders: They can lead with both strength and care — and in a crisis, this duality matters more than charisma.
In short, psychological androgyny isn’t about being “neutral.” It’s about being whole.
Why It’s Hard — and Still Worth It
Unlearning gendered expectations takes real effort. Many people who develop one set of traits neglect the other out of fear of rejection or appearing “weak” or “aggressive.” For example, a woman might be afraid of being called “bossy” if she’s direct. A man might hide his tenderness to avoid seeming “soft.”
But here's the catch: the traits we suppress are often the ones we need most to evolve.
Examples in Everyday Life
The assertive woman who learns to listen without jumping to fix.
The sensitive man who learns to say no — firmly and without guilt.
The parent who can be both the rule-enforcer and the safe shoulder to cry on.
The CEO who brings visionary drive and emotional intelligence to the table.
You don’t have to sacrifice one side to access the other. You get to be both.
Real Talk from my practice
No wonder that, oftentimes, the work I do with clients feels like helping them reclaim the “other side” of themselves. With men, a big part of the process is helping them access their emotions — to feel deeply without judging themselves as weak, to express vulnerability without shame. For women, the work often centers on building assertiveness — learning how to identify their boundaries, voice them clearly, and enforce them without guilt.
In a way, I’m just helping them grow into the traits most often coded as belonging to the other gender.
But here’s the twist: those traits were never “masculine” or “feminine” to begin with. They’re just human. We’ve only been taught to divide them.
Final Thought
Psychological androgyny is not a personality type — it’s a skill set. A psychological Swiss Army knife. And in a world that demands both grit and grace, compassion and courage, logic and intuition — the most powerful people are often the most balanced.
So if you’ve ever felt “too much” of one thing or “not enough” of another… maybe you’re just in the process of becoming whole.
Wishing you flexibility, fierceness, and softness — all at once.
– Kanica