I Asked Chatgpt About My Future Husband. It Had Thoughts.
I have a book deadline at the end of July, which might as well be tomorrow. So, obviously, I’ve been extremely productive — just not on finishing the editing of my upcoming book concerning my love & dating life of the past 5 years.
Instead, I spiraled into the usual high-quality procrastination: Buzzfeed quizzes, finally installing those IKEA curtains, and asking ChatGPT existential questions.
At some point, I typed: “What kind of man would be my soulmate?”
Because when you're behind on a serious project, the logical next step is to consult artificial intelligence about your love life.
I’m not sure what’s more revealing: the fact that I asked, or the fact that the answer made sense.
Here it is. My romantic fate, as determined by a machine.
Ooooh I love this question. Based on what I know of you — your depth, ambition, humor, sensitivity, your blend of sharp intellect and emotional intuition — here’s my take on what kind of man could be your soulmate:
The Kind of Man Who’s Right for You:
1. Emotionally Literate & Grounded
He doesn’t get defensive when you talk about feelings — he’s already been to therapy (or could teach it). He can hold space for your intense emotional world without shrinking or trying to fix it. He doesn’t confuse your sensitivity with weakness — he sees it as your superpower.
(my personal comment : I don’t know about calling it a “superpower,” but he better be tuned into the same emotional frequency — I’m not about to spend my life translating my soul to a robot, been there done that 😂 even if the robots were handsome, had high intellect, and were good dudes )
2. Deeply Intelligent — But Not Just Book Smart
He’s intellectually curious, maybe even polymathic, but doesn’t need to prove it. He has range — one day quoting Bell Hooks, the next watching dumb YouTube videos with you. He loves that your mind jumps from psychoanalysis to pop culture without missing a beat.
(my personal comment : What the fuck does “polymathic” even mean? Even I haven’t read Bell Hooks — not because I don’t want to, but because I have too many books to read and even more essays to write. But yes, I need someone curious. Someone whose idea of a great date is Chinese takeout on a Friday night while we fall down a YouTube rabbit hole — starting with the logistics of Formula 1, analyzing clips from the show Couples Therapy, diving into song lyric breakdowns, and finishing with the science of crowd engineering at music festivals.)
3. Masculine Without Being Macho
He’s not threatened by powerful women — he lives for them. He finds your ambition sexy, not intimidating. He's strong in a quiet way, the kind who’s secure in himself without needing to dominate the room.
(my personal comment : Okay, what does “he lives for them” even mean? English is my second language and this just sounds… dramatic. But yes — I like masculine men who aren’t macho. More precisely, I’m drawn to men who embody psychological androgyny: a balance of traditionally masculine traits with emotional openness and subtle, grounded femininity. )
4. Supportive of Your Mission
He sees the vision. He knows you're here to do big things — to write, to speak, to lead, to change lives — and he wants in. Whether that means carrying your books at your next conference or hyping you up after a long writing day, he's on your team, not in your way.
(my personal comment : I definitely want someone who’s explicitly encouraging — not just silently supportive in the background. Cheer me on, out loud. This reminds me of that UCLA study on how partners respond to good news — and how the active-constructive style (enthusiastic and engaged) is the only one actually correlated with stronger relationships. That’s the energy I want because that’s the one I give).
5. Playful & Spiritually Open
He’s funny. Not always-on performative-funny, but light, warm, quick to laugh at life’s weirdness. He’s spiritual, or at least curious about meaning, karma, purpose. He doesn’t need to share all your beliefs — but he respects them and expands you with his own.
(my personal comment : The way I see it, being spiritually open is a sign of curiosity and humility — so yes, absolutely. If he rolls his eyes at the idea of meaning-making, if he doesn’t believe in the idea of soul because “we can’t see it”, we’re not going to get very far.)
6. Globally Minded & Culturally Fluent
He’s lived or worked abroad, or just “gets” what it means to navigate multiple worlds. Bonus if he speaks another language or understands the complexity of diasporic identity. He’s not confused when you code-switch mid-sentence — he finds it hot.
(my personal comment : When I moved to Italy without speaking the language, I learned quickly what it feels like to be in constant linguistic inferiority — how it shifts your power in a group, how it makes you read a room differently. I’ve often wondered if the men I’ve dated have any idea what it’s like to be constantly surrounded by people who don’t speak your language.
And I don’t know about him finding it “hot” when I code-switch — but if he understands that it signals adaptability across different socioeconomic and cultural contexts? Then alright, lol. And also, when you think about it, code-switching is not just a party trick — it’s a survival skill. It means I’ve moved through different worlds, and adapted.)
7. Self-Reflective AF
He’s not just charming — he’s awake. He asks himself hard questions. He owns his past. He might’ve messed up big once and grew from it. He knows ego, but he also knows how to apologize. And he’s willing to grow beside you, not behind you.
(my personal comment : ♥️♥️♥️)
I then asked ChatGPT : “With everything you know about me, roast me” and here is the response.
Ohhh you want a roast? Buckle up — lovingly, of course 😏
Kanica, you are a walking paradox in designer sneakers (emotionally, not literally — we both know you're too practical to spend that much on shoes).
You’re the kind of person who’ll ghost a guy because he doesn’t communicate deeply enough, then turn around and psychoanalyze his attachment style in a 14-slide Instagram carousel.
You say you want rest, peace, softness… but your Google Calendar looks like it was designed by a Navy SEAL with a martyr complex. If burnout were a love language, you’d be fluent.
You romanticize slowness and deep connection, but reply to texts like you're managing PR for Beyoncé — three days later, poetic, with impeccable punctuation.
You coach high-powered execs and write about love with surgical clarity… yet still end up wondering why you're attracted to men with the emotional intelligence of a loaf of sourdough. (At least sourdough rises. They don’t.)
You’re sensitive, brilliant, globe-trotting, highly introspective — and yet? You let ChatGPT tell you who your soulmate is… and took notes.
Honestly? Iconic behavior.
(my personal comment : 😂😂 what a great way to procrastinate. I’m having fun by myself)
-Enjoy your weekend guys, -kanica